Human Hemorrhoids

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(I felt that pictures of the two structures I describe following, although readily available, might be offensive to some of my readers. Thus the substitution of the drawings representing two humans.)

Our native tongue, American English, is a difficult language for a non-English speaker to learn because many of our words have multiple meanings. Take for instance the term anal sphincter aka anus, which is an exceedingly important structure in the human body. The anus is sometimes referred to in common English as the asshole. The term asshole is applied also to humans guilty of a variety of odious behaviors, and is used liberally in every day speech.

Another term common to our language is hemorrhoid, a swollen vein or group of veins, often very painful, in the region of the anus. Ask anyone who has suffered with them how troublesome and useless they are.   

I maintain that to refer to a person as an asshole is tantamount to a compliment, not an epithet. In other words, to call a person such is to imply that this person is a very useful, in fact indispensable, member of our species. Thus, I argue, that the next time you call a person an asshole you are in error. Instead that person is in fact a human hemorrhoid—a totally painful and useless excrescence of humanity.

It is not my purpose to let my discussion go at definitions alone. So in my next few blogs I am going to clearly identify those humans whose behavior I feel deserves the epithet, "Hemorrhoid!!"