Sunday, January 12, 2014

Citizen's are Watching


When I was assigned to undercover investigations for the Food and Drug Administration, I was issued a 1960 Studebaker Lark; 8 cylinders, 180 horsepower, 0 - 60 mph in 10 seconds, powerful and fast, (I once drove it across the Delmarva Peninsula at 120 miles per hour); a very responsive and easy to handle machine. I loved that car! With the exception of my lark, our 'official' cars were all off-white, bore US Government license plates, and a logo on both front door panels that proclaimed 'US Government Interagency Motor Pool, For Official Use Only'. My Lark carried Maryland plates and was free of any indications that it was other than a civilian's car. Apparently some one in the General Services Administration purchasing department believed this to be an ideal car for clandestine surveillance, stake-outs, tailing evil-doers, etc.—NOT! It was definitely unfit for that kind of work. The Lark was brand new on the American market, a compact of unique design in an era of much larger cars, had only limited popularity (during the two years that I drove it around my four state district, I saw only one other Lark), AND IT WAS LIME GREEN! It stood out in a parking lot, anywhere around town, on the highway—and the motor pool guys kept it shiny bright. It was just about useless for undercover work. But it was the only unmarked car assigned to our agency and I had to share it on occasion.


The investigator in charge of the Raleigh-Durham satellite station needed an unmarked car for an investigation. Instead of authorizing him to rent a car locally, our chief investigator had him fly up to Baltimore and drive my Lark back to his post. A week into his investigation he requested the help of another investigator—I was 'it'. Instead of flying me to Raleigh, which would have been faster and probably not much more expensive, I was directed to drive one of the marked cars assigned to us and drive my Lark back at the conclusion of the investigation. I was issued a 1959 Plymouth sedan, the car I had originally been assigned when I first joined the agency. It was a heavy, low-powered dog and miserably uncomfortable on long drives. But it was the only car the motor pool had available.

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After a miserable, nine-hour drive from Baltimore to Raleigh without the convenience of even a mile of the new Interstate system, I checked into a motel in a suburb north of town. As soon as I had brought my luggage to my room, I called the resident investigator and told him where I was. He said that he would pick me up at dawn the following morning and we would continue searching for our suspect. I had checked in Monday and we called a halt to our unsuccessful endeavor late Friday evening. We exchanged the Plymouth for the Lark, and I returned to Baltimore the next day after an enjoyable, less time consuming drive in my lime green Lark.

As soon as I arrived at my desk Monday morning, I was told that the chief wanted to see me immediately. With only a cursory greeting, he handed me an envelope addressed to 'Whom it may concern, Interagency Motor Pool, Baltimore, Md.' Inside was a letter from an irate citizen who stated that a government car she described and included the license number, the 1959 Plymouth, had been parked in front of the correctly identified motel for an entire week in the same spot; it had never moved. She was sure that the driver of that car, a freeloading government employee, had never left the motel and therefore must not have been working. In other words, he was wasting her tax money and should be fired. The chief had already talked to the Raleigh agent and told me I was cleared of that charge. But he was still angry. Why had we two idiots not taken the Plymouth to the GSA motor pool in Raleigh when I arrived and left it there? I had no answer. He ended the interview with, "Always be aware that the public is watching everything we do. They don't like us very much."

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