A fifth of all American 15-year-olds are sexually
active. By the age of 16, that number rises to 33 percent, or a third of all
teens, to 61% of 18-year-olds and to 71% of 19-year-olds. There is
little difference by gender in the timing of first sex. (Guttmacher Institute,
June 2013) For a comprehensive overview of
teen sexual behavior by the country's leading and most respected researchers
into teen sexual and reproductive health visit http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html
I don't
know of any other topic that so completely reveals our culture's schizophrenic
attitude toward human sexuality than that of teenagers' sexual behavior. Teens
have access to a great deal of sexually explicit material but to far less
clear, honest, unbiased information about sex. Conservatives constantly bemoan the problem of
teen pregnancy yet continually try to dismantle comprehensive sex education
programs in public schools and close Planned Parenthood clinics across the
country ostensibly to stop abortion but in reality to deny teens access. Unfortunately
a local Planned Parenthood affiliate is often the only place teenagers can get
honest answers to their questions about sex, STIs (sexually transmitted infections)
and contraceptives.
I have
talked with a number of women who as adolescents suffered untreated STIs or
horrific damage to their wombs during botched abortions, which prevented them
from bearing children. Both could have been prevented if the girl could have
openly discussed her interest in becoming sexually active with her parents and
they had given her complete unbiased information. [Ideally parents should show
their comfort with and openness to discussing sex with their children at the
time they ask their first questions.]
Openness to
discussing contraception need not imply acceptance or encouragement of their
daughter or son's decision to experience their sexuality. Parents, if opposed
to their doing so, and most parents are, need to state their opposition clearly
and honestly without resorting to threats or scare tactics while realizing that
unless they have their child under 24 hour supervision, there is no way they
can prevent sex from happening. Many teens I have had in discussion groups about
sexual behavior, who have had this kind of openness with their parents, told me
they delayed their first sexual experience out of respect for their parents' wishes.
This is a 'win-win' if there ever was one.
[1976: On a nationally
televised morning talk show, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, an American sex therapist,
shocked her host and her viewers by suggesting that society should encourage
teens to practice mutual masturbation instead of coitus. She posited that this
would decrease the number of teen pregnancies, prevent the spread of STIs among
teens, and teach teens about each other's bodies, foreplay, and sexual
response. (I heartily endorse this for teens instead of, and for adult couples
as an occasional alternative to, intercourse.)]
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