Watching Dragonflies

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It rained last night

An unusual deluge

as if a celestial pitcher

filled to overflowing

had been emptied all at once

It drummed on the roof

on the awnings

on the earth

that opened its parched mouth

and drank deeply

It woke me and I knew

I awoke again in the nascent dawn

and reach for his arm to feel it flex

then stretch over his head

creating a harbor for me against his breast

his arms around me

a comforting harbor that brought me out of the black sea of sleep

a safe anchorage for the day ahead

I reach for his hand

my fingers remain empty

tears moisten my eyes

I stand on our patio

the sun’s crescent crashes against the shores of night

and I watch it rise until its brilliance blinds me

Then I look out

across our yard

and wait

Suddenly

from a dozen tiny holes in the sand

they begin to rise

At first in twos and threes

then a host

a myriad of tiny bodies fluttering on gossamer wings

ascending in a cloud

that looks like ragged lace fluttering in the gentle breeze

A dragonfly appears

darting quickly

he steals a tiny body

then another

His sister joins the feast

and his cousins

and his friends

The lacy cloud is soon

rent asunder

The dragonflies disperse

flashing brilliant colors in the sunlight

It is over all too soon

We watched this together

for fifty-two wonderful years

At this moment I do not feel so alone

I did not see this coming

Find me on Facebook and visit my website, http://www.bfoswaldauthor.com. Thank you.

I received a comment (and I do so appreciate your comments) that included a question about my ability to determine if a marriage would endure after only a few hours of pre-marriage counseling. In other words, had I ever been wrong in my assessment. Yes, a few times. The one that follows is the most remarkable.

Rod and Shirley were very attractive young people and appeared to me to be very much in love. Rod was extraordinarily solicitous toward Shirley. When they arrived for their counseling appointments, he always opened the car door and the office door for her. He would help her remove her jacket before sitting down beside her on my sofa. During our meeting, he would often hold her hand, or put an arm around her shoulder. They both asked questions and discussed points of disagreement easily reaching compromises. They radiated happiness and love for each other.

Their wedding came off without a hitch, which was unusual for a wedding that included so large a wedding party—six bride's maids and a matron of honor and the corresponding number of attendants on the groom's side of the alter. After the service, the wedding party stayed behind in the church for the requisite picture-taking and then because the reception was to be an informal outside affair they changed into casual clothes. The Rod and Shirley were the last to change.

Since I had borrowed the church for their wedding, I had to make sure everything was in order before I locked the doors. I finished my inspection of the building and awaited the exit of the bride and groom. Rob came out first carrying his rented tux in its garment bag and walked to his car where he unlocked his door and deposited his attire in the back seat. He then faced the church and watched Shirley emerged—slowly and awkwardly, loaded down like a Sherpa preparing to climb of Mt. Everest. She was carrying her gown in its covering and several wedding presents in various sized boxes. I held the door open for her. She walked to Rob's car and looked expectantly for his help. He realized her door was still locked and threw the car keys over the roof of the car in her direction at the same time saying, "Don't expect me to wait on you any more now that we're married." Six miserable months later Shirley sued for divorce.

Wedding Vows

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I continued to officiate at weddings for several years after I left the parish ministry. A few of these weddings were for family and friends of family but many were 'mixed' marriages—each of the partners were of different communions or different races or different socioeconomic backgrounds and their ministers, pastors, priests, rabbis would not officiate because of this. Also many were second or third marriages for one or both of the couple and refused the services of their religious leaders for this reasons. And there were those couples that wanted to be married in some other venue than in a church and those couples neither of whom had an association with a preacher.

Regardless of the circumstances, I had three rules that the couple had to accept before I would agree to officiate. First and foremost the couple had to write their own service, especially their vows. Many brides that I worked with in and out of the ministry had already chosen their music and some their musicians but found it much more difficult to collaborate with their intendeds to create an order for their service and agree to what they wanted included in it. I provide numerous aids in the form of services other couples had designed and many couples 'cut and pasted' from these. What was important to me was that this was to be their wedding service, not mine, not the churches laid upon them. For almost all, this proved to be more meaningful even though the process was sometimes fraught with disagreements.

Writing their vows was almost always the hardest part of planning their wedding. I countered their resistance by explaining that their vows were the very heart of the service. These were the rules for the behavior of one toward the other during their life together, and I wanted the bride and the groom to own, understand, and accept these rules. Some couples made unusual promises to each other, most elected to use some variation of the standard vows but hopefully in the process took time to discuss what 'richer and poorer', 'sickness and health', 'faithful unto death' and so forth meant to each.

The third rule was I would not tolerate any micro management of the wedding service by 'well-meaning' parents or friends. Brides' mothers were the worst offenders and on more than one occasion I interrupted a rehearsal until the offending mother promised to cease her interference or left the premises. To my way of thinking, this was one of the most dramatic life-altering events in the lives of the bride and groom. I wanted it to be their event from start to finish, not someone else’s vicarious wedding. Most often, although the process was sometimes difficult and contentious, the results were much appreciated by the newly weds.