A
young clergyman of my acquaintance received some very welcomed news; after
trying unsuccessfully for over five years to have a baby his wife finally had become pregnant. The Sunday following his receiving this information, he
announced the coming blessed event from the pulpit. After the service, one of
the matriarchs of the congregation accosted him as she was leaving the church
and criticized him severely for sharing that information. "Do you want
people to know that you and your wife do it?" she said indignantly.
Another pastor told me that a parishioner frequently demanded to see him on his
day off and another member of his flock phoned him during his evening meal
several times a week. I had similar experiences in two of the churches I
served. Unfortunately these happenings are not that uncommon according to many
of the clergy with whom I have spoken over the years.
I
was newly appointed to a congregation and attending my first administrative
board meeting when the matter of my weekly schedule was broached. I had
announced to the congregation the Sunday before that I planned to take
Thursdays off. One of the members of the board asked why I needed a whole day
off since I only worked one hour a week. I thought he was joking until I saw
the look on his face and knew he was anything but. The average clergyman will
die with a full inbox and a tired heart.
The
private lives of the parsonage (manse, rectory) family are often much more
carefully scrutinized by members of the congregation than the lives of others.
Reasons to criticize members of the clergyman's family are quickly ferreted out
and fed into the gossip stream. Clergy wives and children's behavior is often
held to a higher standard than that of the parishioners. They are expected to
set good examples for the rest of the flock and it is quickly noted when they
fall short.
Because most clergy have
little time for themselves and even less for their families, the day a week
(seldom two) they may set aside for their relaxation and recreation should be
respected. It is unkind and a disservice to demand the minister's attention for
a mundane or innocuous matter during his day off. Often enough, true emergencies intrude on the
pastor's Sabbath as it is.
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